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If Jesus has the power, then so do I

Maryanne makes her debut...
Looook Into my eeeeyes
      September 1st, 2009 2:52 am, a day that I will never forget. Maryanne Sellards came into the word weighing 6 lbs 7oz, and measuring 18 inches. She has blue eyes and blonde hair like her father and pale milky skin like her mother.I feel so honored to be her Father, I want to protect her, love her, provide for her and show her right from wrong. I want to sit at her tea parties with her stuffed animals, take her to her first day of school, Take pictures of her and her prom date, give her away on her wedding day, and see her give me plenty of grandchildren.

     She was born at the Birth Centre in London, overlooking Big Ben and the Thames River. Maryanne was born in London because last year, when she was concieved, we were living there, and we liked the Doctor and the Birth Centre so much that we decided to have Ana give birth there. The labor was only three hours from the time Ana's water broke at 11 pm, to the time i snipped the cord at almost 3am. We had a marvelous midwife and a great team of doctors and nurses that helped Ana bare the pain of the natural birth. It was an amazing, and two days later we took our little girl home to our lovley apartment in Soho.
     One month later, and we're home in New York City. Day by day she's showing us little bits of her personality. She's a big-time cryer, like her Old Man, but she has a playful spirit, very silly too. Robbie, her older brother who just started the First Grade, is very keen on her, he talks to her and rocks her craddle lovingly. We are one big happy family these days!

     Speaking of happy, my ex husband Happy has come by to scoop up Robbie for his week of custody. I have not seen him in almost two months and surprisingly, I think i'm finally over him. That's rather strange to me, the former love of my life no longer makes me feel anything. This divorce was especially difficult because he never treated me badly, and neither did I. I couldn't sacrifice my career, and my dreams to be a stay at home mom like we wanted to be. This was the whole premise of our marriage, we'd get married, release one more album, and quit show biz, start a family and move to Ohio. When I realized my inability to give him what i promised at the altar, It all fell apart. We became distant with each other. We seperated twice, and last December I decided I wanted a child of my own. I knew that this divorce was imminent, and that Robbie would have to be shared.

     By the middle of Ana's second trimester it had become evident to Happy that something was up. He had moved out on Christmas Eve and Ana moved in. Her pregnancy was the ultimate act of betrayal in his eyes. Our trust was broken, and we lost our frienship. We have retained civility, but its different. Atleast I dont want to kiss him anymore each time we meet to pick-up or hand-over our son. A part of me will always love him. But after six months of seperation and three months of divorce, a cordial smile is good enough, and in time we'll be friends again. 

     So that's whats been going on in my life. Things seem to be lookin up for me, and i hope they stay that way. This weekend is Robbie's one year Adoption Day Anniversary, We're having a little party, Im baked the cake and in 2 hours the house will be filled with friends and family. A film exec friend of mine has sent me a dvd of the new G I Joe, so the boys will be watching that while they gorge on cake and apple juice. I hope to write a little more often, but if you want to keep in contact with me you all can reach me on AIM: JakeyShears . Much Love.